It seems these days that more and more couples are deciding to cohabit, whether as an alternative to marriage or simply a prelude. According to the Office of National Statistics, since 2005 cohabitation has increased by approximately 33% whereas marriage / civil partnership only by approximately 2% in the same time frame. This is definitely a sign of the times and there are many reasons why couples choose cohabit over marrying or entering into a civil partnership, or postpone in doing so.
Times are hard, those their late twenties to mid-thirties, who are normally the key candidates for marriage, have probably found the road to financial independence a little tricky to say the least. This is partly thanks to the Global Financial Crisis hitting exactly at the time they would have been trying to set down the roots of their career and move out of home. This and ever increasing house and rental prices, salaries that are not keeping up with inflation and the uncertainty of Brexit has possibly left many feeling that getting married is either not feasible or not a priority compared to achieving financial independence, getting a foot on the property ladder or even starting a family.
In addition there is no longer any stigma attached to cohabitation or starting a family outside of wedlock. Even Prince William and Kate Middleton chose to cohabit prior to marrying which would have been unheard of a generation before. With ever reducing social pressure on couples to get married as well as the financial pressures of the times many now feel they can’t justify the expense of marriage or even see the point in making those vows. After all there isn’t any real difference between being a spouse or a common law spouse is there?
It’s true that getting married may not make you feel any differently towards your partner or prevent you from breaking up but legally there is a big difference. This is because there is no such thing as a common law spouse other than in colloquial speech. Legally the term means nothing. By way of illustration, you could live with your partner for 20 years and if you were to end your relationship or your partner died you would be treated no differently than if you had been housemates. Even if you have children together, your partner or their estate would have responsibility towards them but not you. This can be devastating especially if you sacrificed your career to raise the children or were contributing towards the household bills with the house, mortgage and other major assets all in your partners name only to find that you don’t have a claim on any of the assets and you have to walk away from the life you helped build with virtually nothing. No spousal maintenance, no pension share, no share in the family home, nothing.
The law might be able to provide you with some redress, however as cohabitation is not recognised by law it is simply not possible to achieve the same sort of outcome as in a divorce. To salvage anything requires careful navigation through various tricky legal statutes and case law choosing various sections that apply to your needs to build up your case. This is an expensive and difficult exercise and the outcome is extremely difficult to predict.
There always seems plenty of talk about introducing laws to recognise cohabitation but this is yet to produce any actual results. So while I’m not on a crusade championing marriage, I am making a plea for people to better understand their own circumstances. If marriage is not on the cards for whatever reason then I think a cohabitation agreement should be. This is a contractual document which sets out what should happen if a couple were ever to separate. It can be as simple or as complicated as the couple like, from a simple 50/50 division of all assets or a tiered division depending on the length or the relationship at the time of the split, each party’s contribution (financial and otherwise) and the existence of any children. I appreciate it is not the most romantic thing to talk about with your partner but nor is buying life insurance or talking about Wills. I view cohabitation agreements as another bit of life admin which is there to protect you and your partner. It is also sensible to decide what is fair and necessary for you both at a time when there is no hostility rather than trying to unpick the situation when emotions are running high at the end of the relationship or if your partner was to predecease you. Hopefully you will never need it but if you do you will both be glad you have it.
